Vacation From Life= Life Follows You

We are in Brookings, Oregon for our annual family vacation. Jesse and I have been a little reluctant to bring the boys to the condo because we didn't know if the new surroundings would be too much for them. Mel, Trent and Isabelle are used to this place and know what to do and look forward to. Last fall we took all the kids camping, after the boys had been with us for only a month, and it was chaos. So needless to say I was a little frightened of our stay here. Thankfully they have been pretty good and have enjoyed the beach and hikes.

But, I have to remember that a vacation with kids doesn't mean a vacation from life! On the car ride here Josh lost his dinner for the last 4 hours of the ride. I have never had a kid get car sick before. It's gross! Yesterday we went to a Wild Life Animal Park and it was great, everyone loved it, well Isabelle was a little frightened of all the goats and deer coming up to her, but she is a bit of a drama queen. The kids got to hold ferrets, skunks, opossums, and some kind of Asian raccoon thing. We saw lions, tigers and bear, truly! After the zoo we went and had fish and chips. Not too good for Joey's stomach. We were shopping in Bandon at a store when Joey says to me, "I don't feel good." I head him out of the store and within 2 seconds looses his lunch on the sidewalk. I'm used to Nate spitting up all the time, but revisiting fish and chips was not the perfect ending to the perfect day. We had to pull over every 10 minutes on the ride home to clean out his barf bag! I'm almost afraid to travel home on Wednesday, who's going to be sick then?

Life goes on, and we are making the best of our time together. Today it's coloring, cutting and movies. Little things keep the kids happy.

The Perfect Formula Tested

My theory for peacefulness in the house is snow. I asked God for that blessing again and we haven't seen much around here. We had a great run of 4 days where everyone was having fun and for the most part getting along. The temper tantrums were minimal and joy abounded. Well, that's over now and it's back to reality.

Like I've said before, with 8 people in the house and only 7 days a week my odds for peaceful days are not so good. It usually helps my odds if a couple of kids have off or difficult days together, except when those off days are at school and end you in the principal's office. Technically only one went to the principal's office, but the other one was on his way when I showed up to his class to leave early. Now really, how do you get sent to the principal in pre-school? I knew my little man would find a way if it was possible and telling your teacher no repeatedly should do the trick.

So, I'm going to ask for snow again and see if that brings back any harmony to the house this week-end. In truth, God is teaching me that regardless of circumstances or behaviors my hope and joy is found in Him. I just need to keep telling myself that and again clinging to the Cross of Christ!!!

The Perfect Formula

I've finally figured out the perfect formula for the perfect day! First, snow on the ground so that everyone is excited when they wake up. Second, light school schedule so that kids are excited to go play in the snow. Third, make lots of yummy food throughout the day for frozen kids to eat happily. Now if only God would grant us with this fresh snow every morning we may have something good going on here.

If only life was that simple. A formula or check list to follow to ensure a delighted heart and peaceful home. I just witnessed three days in a row where the floor didn't fall out from under me and nobody cried. Wow, what a wonderful respite God has granted me. No one broke the camel's back or pushed anyone over the edge. Either we are bonding better or they're all wearing me down so that I just don't notice anymore.

The plain truth is there is no perfect check list, just God's grace. Grace sufficient for all my needs. I had to go through last week to get to this week. I had to remember that Christ is all I need and that He loves me. Now, the real test is next week?!

There and Back Again, an adoptive mothers week.

I know it's not fair to just say adoptive mother because this could be any mothers story, but it's my blog and therefore my story!

What a week. I'm glad it's almost over. How can one person withstand so many emotional mood swings in just a few days? Started the week hopeful to have an answer to the boys being legally free. No such luck. Crested the week wanting to hide in a cave and never come out. I searched and we don't have such Hobbit dwellings in Fallon. Ended the week lowering one little boys meds and waiting for the fallout. Not one day has gone according to plan. I know they never will, but I have hope.

I feel sorry for my husband who has to pick up the pieces of his emotionally weak wife after he has dealt with inmates all day. Actually, maybe I should trade places with him. He can tell people to get back in their cells and be quiet, Nice!

It's hard to tell if I'm getting through to the boys, Joey in particular. We have discussions, well, I lecture and ask him questions that he doesn't answer. We've had a lot of these episodes this week. I pray that he will open up to me and let me in.

I get really nervous when people praise me in the endeavor that we are in because I feel like such a failure 100 times a day. I know for a fact that the only way that I keep breathing every day and getting out of bed and loving this household is because Christ is the air, reason and love that I live in. When all else seems futile, He is all I can cling to.

He who knew NO sin became sin so that I might be righteous before God. That is why we do what we do. Not because I think I'm an exceptional mother, anyone who knows me knows that's not the truth, but because I serve an awesome God!

Good Sign!

I guess it's a good sign that Jesse and I haven't frustrated, demented and warped our children beyond repair when my 12 year old daughter says to me today, "Next time we adopt I want a little sister." Now really, "Next time?" How about I get through this time first. We have three little boys in our home that we are still trying to adapt to and love. I have six children in my home that I'm trying to nurture, train and care for. So, really, next time? Well Melanie lets get through tomorrow with love in our words and kindness in our hearts then maybe in three or four or five years we might bring the subject up again.

Sweet though, don't you think????

January Blues

I used to get the January blues pretty bad. Once Melanie's birthday was over, on the 17th, until Valentines Day was a very depressing time of the year for me. Some of the darkest times in my life have been brought on by the doldrums of mid-winter. The times when you question your walk, mothering capabilities, direction in life and come up short of expectations and hopes. Those times that as much as I would like to forget about, God brought me through for a reason. Possibly those times were learning grounds of faith or courses in strength and perseverance.

Maybe it was the let down from the sugar rush of the holidays, but enough to say that in years past I dreaded the end of January... until now.

I forgot that it even was the end of January. I will take this as a plus for the encouragement of having a large family. You are so busy racing back and forth through your house and town that you can't keep the days straight. There is no more time for January blues. Now the month, like all the others, are a rush of color.

I think I started to get the blues yesterday, but these darn kids wouldn't leave me alone long enough for me to have a proper pity party. And even if they did I wouldn't remember why I was pitying myself anyway. Oh well, there is always next year!

Normalcy

I think I am loosing my mind. But maybe that is God's plan. If I loose my marbles then I might stop trying to control God and let Him work through me. I have continued to wait for it to lighten up and get easier around here. Silly me, I know. I have waited for my kids to fall in love with the boys and embrace them with open arms. I am delusional at best. I have looked forward to the day when I wake up and feel unconditional love for Josh and Joey. (Heavy sigh inserted here.)

Homeschooling is hard.

Taking in three brothers to adopt is harder.

Listening to God speak through all the chaos is hardest.

Loving those I live with like Christ loves me is impossible.

Good thing I'm not in this alone, but am surrounded by loving friends and family who serve in our lives selflessly and the grace of God that has become my very breath and sanity.

I'm just really thankful I didn't make anyone cry today! It must have been a good day, mostly!

Children Are a Blessing From the Lord.

Do I Dare to Hope

Two mornings ago I woke up and went into the living room ready to do battle with one very hyper child, which is my usual morning routine. Keep Joey quiet until everyone else wakes up! But to my utter surprise there was no hyper child bouncing around the living room, but three young boys sitting quietly at the coffee table playing with Trent's Star Wars Lego guys.

Jesse has been reminding Trent what it means to share and the benefits of it and teaching Joey that sharing, a VERY hard concept for him, is a wonderful thing for everyone. So, Trent brought out his most prized possession, The Legos. He has had them stored on top of the book shelf for the last 3 month so afraid that the boys will destroy them. He was showing them how they are put together and even allowed Joey to make one of the storm troopers.

This sounds so silly and insignificant, but after three months of trying to convince Trent that these are his brothers and he should play with them and share his favorite things to form a band of brotherhood this was Mt. Everest.

I thought it was a fluke, that they were playing nicely early in the morning, and never expected it again. Well, guess what? This morning I walked into the living room and it was silent. The lights were on so I knew someone was up, but there was no one around. I walked around and heard noise coming from the newly rearranged garage-turned-rec-room. Trent and Joey were playing in the garage at 6:30 in the morning, running around chasing each other. Wow, I never knew Trent had so much energy in the morning. Sweet blessings.

Let's pray for another morning of peaceful sibling playfulness!!!

God's Gift to Me

I don't mean to brag, but I have the best husband in the world. He's funny, he's helpful, he's innovative and it goes without saying that he's very handsome. I feel blessed to have a best friend who knows me better than I know myself. The socks left on the floor right next to the hamper don't bother me anymore nor does the dirty coffee mugs left around the house and in the car. These things are small in comparison to what he puts up with with me. I love my husband and am thankful for the long hours he puts in at work to support us and the long hours at home to lead us. I pray for him everyday as he serves this community with diligence and hard work.

I know this will totally embarrass him if he reads it, but I don't care because I'm proud of him and want everyone to know it. (I might get brownie points for this one)