Psalm 55 fits perfectly.

I'm not going to type it all out because it's 23 verses and once people see a long post they usually skip it. But I encourage you to go right now and get your bibles out and read it for yourselves if you want to know what it's like to take in three new boys (one being 2months old), homeschooling my three current children and balancing the creation of a new family while everyone watches you with a magnifying glass.

I read Psalms 55 today. It was not on my reading schedule because I'm actually in 1 Peter. But when you are at the end of your rope and you thirst for encouragement go to Psalms. Flipping through the pages I ran across my underlining of vs. 22, "Cast your burden on the Lord and He will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved." So I went back to the beginning of 55 and read the whole thing. Wow. I am there, in that Psalm, living through it! Are you encouraged to read it yet?

You may not be where I am emotionally and this Psalm doesn't mean anything to you, but then again maybe it will. God's word always speaks to us where and when we need it and when we receive it He lifts us up. May God be glorified even in my failings.

Love,

Jessica

The Lord Opens and Closes What He Wishs

Jesse and I found out some heart breaking news the other day. Unknown and unthought of by us our Rwandan adoption agency has a policy that if you are seeking a domestic adoption they ask that you pull your application from seeking an international adoption. Through their experience and wisdom they believe you need a year to bond with the current children before you bring in international children. Now, I see the wisdom in that and I believe they are seeking what's best for the children, but it breaks my heart all the same.

After speaking to someone from the agency she expressed that we could call back in 6 months to see how we were doing with our domestic adoption. If we are close to finalizing our adoption with the three boys then we might be able to update a few documents and resubmit our dossier to Rwanda when the adoption is complete.

I can live with this answer. We don't have to throw it all away or start all over again. Some of the fees can be credited to us in the future and some of the documents can be updated for free. Again, man plans his way, but God directs our steps. I see God working in ever detail of this whole situation and am so thankful for His protective hand. Not only do we get to adopt these three brothers, but now we have more time before we have to go to Rwanda, Lord willing!

My heart breaks for these children in Rwanda who we have prayed for for over a year, but they are in God's hands and if they are supposed to be here then He will see it through. Just think, if we had known about this policy we would not have taken the boys and would have missed out on this wonderful blessing. I can rest in the fact that God knows all things and is in control of our lives for His glory.

Love, Jessica