Why I can sleep at night.

I love to sleep. It's peace. I enjoy this kind of peace. When I'm stressed and overly anxious then sleep becomes my enemy, always escaping me. And what is more stressful then knowing you have two children in a foreign country in less than optimal care waiting to come home to you to be fed and loved? I may not know them yet, but they are going to be our family. They don't know it yet, but they have a home with food and siblings and a mom and dad to tuck them in every night.

So how can I possibly sleep for the next 7 months waiting for them?

By simply asking myself, "Who am I?" What makes me so special at this moment in the grand scheme of time? I am just a speck. My life is of no significance. Think of all the millions of people throughout God's time line and then there is me in 2010. I'm not the first to adopt, nor the last. I am just one of God's building blocks that He uses to glorify His name. He called us to do this thing and it will be on God to see it through.

So this is how I sleep at night. Because those children, who are not with us yet, are in His hands. I am not their savior, only Christ can do that. Even if for some crazy reason God closed all the doors and we weren't allowed to adopt these children the world would not end. I do love these children and long for them to be in our home, but I long to lift up the name of Jesus and show His love more. I am not out to save the world from starvation, I only want to be faithful to what God lays on my heart. If we are blessed enough to receive these dear ones then great, but if not then I will follow Christ in what ever direction He leads us to serve Him. In the end it's always about Christ no matter what!