Children Are a Blessing From the Lord.

Do I Dare to Hope

Two mornings ago I woke up and went into the living room ready to do battle with one very hyper child, which is my usual morning routine. Keep Joey quiet until everyone else wakes up! But to my utter surprise there was no hyper child bouncing around the living room, but three young boys sitting quietly at the coffee table playing with Trent's Star Wars Lego guys.

Jesse has been reminding Trent what it means to share and the benefits of it and teaching Joey that sharing, a VERY hard concept for him, is a wonderful thing for everyone. So, Trent brought out his most prized possession, The Legos. He has had them stored on top of the book shelf for the last 3 month so afraid that the boys will destroy them. He was showing them how they are put together and even allowed Joey to make one of the storm troopers.

This sounds so silly and insignificant, but after three months of trying to convince Trent that these are his brothers and he should play with them and share his favorite things to form a band of brotherhood this was Mt. Everest.

I thought it was a fluke, that they were playing nicely early in the morning, and never expected it again. Well, guess what? This morning I walked into the living room and it was silent. The lights were on so I knew someone was up, but there was no one around. I walked around and heard noise coming from the newly rearranged garage-turned-rec-room. Trent and Joey were playing in the garage at 6:30 in the morning, running around chasing each other. Wow, I never knew Trent had so much energy in the morning. Sweet blessings.

Let's pray for another morning of peaceful sibling playfulness!!!

God's Gift to Me

I don't mean to brag, but I have the best husband in the world. He's funny, he's helpful, he's innovative and it goes without saying that he's very handsome. I feel blessed to have a best friend who knows me better than I know myself. The socks left on the floor right next to the hamper don't bother me anymore nor does the dirty coffee mugs left around the house and in the car. These things are small in comparison to what he puts up with with me. I love my husband and am thankful for the long hours he puts in at work to support us and the long hours at home to lead us. I pray for him everyday as he serves this community with diligence and hard work.

I know this will totally embarrass him if he reads it, but I don't care because I'm proud of him and want everyone to know it. (I might get brownie points for this one)

Die Hard Pessimist Living Like an Optimist

There is no hope in being a pessimist. Why try this or that if you already know it's not going to work. I don't like being a pessimist and I can't love, train and care for six kids for God's glory and look at the glass half empty. I'm thankful God is not a pessimist or He would have given up on me a long time ago or probably would never have began.

Everything I try on the little ones doesn't work. The behavior modification stuff is trying on the nerves and drives the other kids crazy in the house. My kids just look at these boys when they throw temper tantrums and are baffled by the show of foolishness. The worlds advise is weak and doesn't address the heart of these little boys. Every time I think of a new way to reach them and help them follow the rules it works for a day because it's new, but then fails because it's weak. These boys need boundaries, consistency, truth and love. I'll have to admit it is hard to apply the love when the first three go wrong.

Loving children who work so hard at being annoying is a challenge, I wonder how God does it? Oh yea, He's God and perfect. I am not. I am weak and selfish and an annoying pessimist. I know He is reforming me into an optimist, but man does it hurt. It's like changing your skin, being peeled until your raw and then rebuilt. The work is hard and tiresome and long and never ending... there I go again being a pessimist! I'll try harder next time.

Tuesday. Right?

I would love to post something if I could remember what day it is. We are now calling our circumstance the "New Crazy". On any given day I can't remember what the date is or day of the week and I'm likely to call someone the wrong name. I know Sunday because everyone is in a mad dash to get ready for church. Monday is easy because of Sunday and Joey and Josh have to go to school and catch the bus. Tuesday through Thursday are fuzzy at best. Friday the boys are out of school, but Saturday feels a lot like Friday.

We now resort to the sniff test for clean clothes and the washing machine doesn't seem to stop. I would love to use my clothes line because believe it or not I actually like hanging my clothes, it's like a link to time gone by as I hang my clothes and watch the chickens peck at the ground. But who has time to hang the wash and make homemade tortillas? (I used to.) Our priorities are clean clothes, food and can I see the bottom of the kitchen sink. I have completely given up on the garden and if there is anything growing in it hopefully it will reseed and next year I won't have to replant anything!

God is good and His mercies are new every morning! I praying for a double helping tomorrow!!!!

My new wheels!

12 passanger

2006

Ford

E 350.

The silver bullet fits in the garage and who could ask for anything more.

Psalm 55 fits perfectly.

I'm not going to type it all out because it's 23 verses and once people see a long post they usually skip it. But I encourage you to go right now and get your bibles out and read it for yourselves if you want to know what it's like to take in three new boys (one being 2months old), homeschooling my three current children and balancing the creation of a new family while everyone watches you with a magnifying glass.

I read Psalms 55 today. It was not on my reading schedule because I'm actually in 1 Peter. But when you are at the end of your rope and you thirst for encouragement go to Psalms. Flipping through the pages I ran across my underlining of vs. 22, "Cast your burden on the Lord and He will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved." So I went back to the beginning of 55 and read the whole thing. Wow. I am there, in that Psalm, living through it! Are you encouraged to read it yet?

You may not be where I am emotionally and this Psalm doesn't mean anything to you, but then again maybe it will. God's word always speaks to us where and when we need it and when we receive it He lifts us up. May God be glorified even in my failings.

Love,

Jessica

The Lord Opens and Closes What He Wishs

Jesse and I found out some heart breaking news the other day. Unknown and unthought of by us our Rwandan adoption agency has a policy that if you are seeking a domestic adoption they ask that you pull your application from seeking an international adoption. Through their experience and wisdom they believe you need a year to bond with the current children before you bring in international children. Now, I see the wisdom in that and I believe they are seeking what's best for the children, but it breaks my heart all the same.

After speaking to someone from the agency she expressed that we could call back in 6 months to see how we were doing with our domestic adoption. If we are close to finalizing our adoption with the three boys then we might be able to update a few documents and resubmit our dossier to Rwanda when the adoption is complete.

I can live with this answer. We don't have to throw it all away or start all over again. Some of the fees can be credited to us in the future and some of the documents can be updated for free. Again, man plans his way, but God directs our steps. I see God working in ever detail of this whole situation and am so thankful for His protective hand. Not only do we get to adopt these three brothers, but now we have more time before we have to go to Rwanda, Lord willing!

My heart breaks for these children in Rwanda who we have prayed for for over a year, but they are in God's hands and if they are supposed to be here then He will see it through. Just think, if we had known about this policy we would not have taken the boys and would have missed out on this wonderful blessing. I can rest in the fact that God knows all things and is in control of our lives for His glory.

Love, Jessica

Eating Out

Well, that was an adventure last night. We took the boys with us to dinner at a restaurant in Reno. We tried to find a noisy place that wouldn't stress us out in trying to keep the kids quiet. We wanted to find a place that had things for the kids to do at the table. We wanted good food. Texas Roadhouse won Jesse's vote and since he's the daddy his vote wins.

I wish I had brought my camera. You should have seen all the eyes glued to us as we herded five children and a baby through the aisles to the back of the restaurant. Jesse and I sat across from each other while all the kids were stuffed in between us and the wall. There were peanuts for the kids to shell and eat and pages to color. So with all 8 of us nestled in at our table waiter after waiter came to ask us if they were all ours.

This is a new question for me and at first I hesitated as Joey was looking and listening to our conversation. My new answer, "They soon all will be." I can't tell you how much joy it brings Jesse and I to have all these gifts together. Sure dinner was busy and tiring as the baby didn't want to be put down and Josh kept telling everyone who went by our table that he wanted a hot dog and applesauce. I ate my pulled pork over Nate's head without spilling any on him and that was a miracle. One waiter even asked if Isabelle and Joey, who are 7 months apart, were twins!

God is good to us and faithful to those who seek Him. Yesterday was the first day that the reserved Joey called me Mom. My heart melted and I knew God was working in his heart also.

Praise God for His many mercies, and to Him be the glory forever.

Love, Jessica

Battling With an Old Friend

I had a visit today from my arch enemy : Doubt. He reared his ugly head as I was resting comfortable with baby Nathaniel laying on my chest.

"What if you can't handle this?" he said. It was one simple question that ran through my brain gaining speed and trying to take root. It was a question that I haven't entertained very much in the last month because I already know what the answer is and don't need to rehash it.

I can sit here and type how I know that God is in control of all things. That He never leaves or forsakes us. He is all knowing and all powerful. He sounds pretty awesome doesn't He. But sometimes He needs to remind me that I am none of those things. I will feel inadequate, lost, overwhelmed, alone, incompetent, and at times like an all around failure, but God. And that is my answer to it all. But GOD. If Christ is not seen in all that Jesse and I do then the viewer is blind.

Doubt. My enemy. Christ died for that too! I am forgiven and for that I have the power to lay doubt to rest and leave the details to God.

I was pondering how at the end of May I had the whole summer planned out to a T. Then one phone call changed my summer and life forever. I can try and plan my days, but the Lord directs my steps. Will I submit myself the the changes joyfully? Will you?

LOVE, Jessica

The Lord grows us as He wishes.

How do you tell people that you are trying to adopt 5 children in a nine month time frame? I get so excited when I tell people because God has already worked in my heart, but I get very nervous for the hearer because they are so very nervous for us. Please don't be! I serve a mighty God who works ALL things together for His glory.

Three weeks ago I received a call from the state wondering if we would be interested in adopting three brothers who need a permanent home. At first I was very reluctant, but Jesse was overjoyed. It took two weeks for the Lord to show me that I need fear nothing because this is for His glory not mine. When I got the call the other day informing us that we were chosen to take these boys I was thrilled beyond speech. God chose us to take care of these little boys, what a privilege.

I don't feel worthy or competent in my mothering skills, but I am competent in the God I serve to never leave me or forsake me. This adventure that we are now on has nothing to do with us as individuals and everything to do with God and His name being proclaimed in our lives. I could not comprehend raising 8 (yes I said EIGHT) children without Jesus as my savior and Lord.

So, to answer the question, yes we are still seeking to adopt from Rwanda. We love that country and the people in it. I love the orphanage and the children in it. God would have to close that door, but if He did then I would be content because it's His door to close. I don't know what the future holds in detail, but I pray it's spent seeking Him first and serving Him all the days of my life.

Love, Jessica
P.S. I'm going to need a passenger van. To think I went from a red, convertible Cavalier to a 12 seat passenger van in 13 years is mind boggling.

What Does the Lord Require of Me?

I have been thinking a lot lately about what the Lord requires of me and I think that Deuteronomy 10: 12-13 lays it out pretty clear.

"And now Israel what does the Lord your God require of you, but the fear the Lord your God," I understand this one and can truthfully say I know and understand that God rules and reigns in my life and that my life was given to me to love and obey Him. I want to glorify Christ in my life.

"to walk in all His ways..." He left us His holy word to follow and live by. I love reading the Bible and learning new insights about my life in Christ. It easy to set up a list of does and don't from the Bible to live by, don't lie, do love others. (All lists aren't bad.) Maybe instead of list I should say foundation. We have a foundation through scripture to live by.

"to love Him..." Oh this must be the easiest one. When you understand and see all that He has done for us how can you not love Him. He suffered and died so that my ugly offensive sins can be cancelled out and forgiven. He extends grace to all mankind by allowing us to live in this beautiful world that He has created and hasn't struck everyone dead for their hideous sins. He seeks to do good for US. What's not to love.

"to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and all your soul." Now this is the tricky one. We all want to turn that service into something beneficial to us. I think the second part of that sentence refers to doing the service with joy and submission. How can you get away from "with all your heart and all your soul." That means every bit of me has to be on board with whatever the Lord asks from my life. He gave me this life, but not so that I can whittle out of it my own glory in worldly accomplishments. He gave me this life to do His work and live for Him.

"and to keep the commandments and statues of the Lord which I am commanding you today for your good." Pretty self explanatory. Keep Gods word because it's for our sake.

I know this is long and I usually don't like writing a book for a post, but I had to get this off my chest. We like to put God in our little boxes and conform Him to our lives, but He won't allow it and if your heart is truly open to loving Him and being used by Him then stand back and watch the miracles take place.

Jessica

Mother's Day

Really it's just another day. I do appreciate all that my family does for me on this day and who doesn't love the attention, but it is just another day and I hope my attitude brings glory to God today.

I can't help but feel that we are missing something, or should I say two someones. My family is not complete and I pray for those 2 children that are motherless today. That they have one and they don't even know it yet drives me crazy. Next year on this day I will be singing the praises of the Lord as I get to celebrate our family of 7.

May God be glorifies in us as we care for all the little treasures He gives us. There are 130 more kids at the orphanage in Rwanda, anyone want to go with us and love these little ones?

Month One

One month down, ? to go. I can't do a count down until we receive a referral from Rwanda so I will do a count up! I have to celebrate something because it is such a long eventless wait at this point.

I have been itching to write and yet felt like there was nothing to say. I love to write and have enjoyed this blog very much, but if there is nothing to say why force the round peg in the square hole.

This last month has flown by with life. Softball, baseball, home schooling, weeds, husbands schedule change, home schooling and then there is the always time consuming schooling at home! Did I mention that already?

I long for my children in Rwanda, and may the next 6-8 months go by just as fast as the last month.

Jessica

Touch Down!

Our referral has arrived in Rwanda. It was been very fun to follow our package as it floated around the world over the weekend. First Virginia then off to New Jersey before flying to Paris and then ending up in Great Britain. An hour ago I followed my tracking number again to find out that it has landed and been delivered to the recipient in Rwanda.

This is very exciting, but the last great news I'm going to have about our kids and our paperwork for quite some time. The hard part begins, now we wait and not for a week or two, but 7-9 months worth of waiting. I am trying to be diligent with our kids at home, but it's hard when you know you have life changing events around the corner. Please pray for our children in Africa that they would be safe and that we would be patient and good stewards of our time.

Love, Jessica

Rwanda or Bust!

YEA!!! The dossier is on its way. Our family coordinator emailed me today to inform us that our paper work is on a plane headed to Rwanda. I was so surprised because my time-line wasn't expecting to start to worry about it until next Monday. As always God's timing is always perfect.

All those months of collecting and coping and emailing have paid off. Yea!

Now.... we wait. And maybe in 7-9 months we will receive a picture of our children. I am excited to go get our children, but I pray that God's will will be done through out this whole process.

It's so exciting to think God already knows who is coming.

Love, Jessica

To the Responders

I just wanted to let those who respond know that when you do I pray for you. I don't write or share for the responses, but they are an encouragement to me. Sometimes you wonder if anyone is out there and I've come to confidently believe that whoever reads these posts was meant to read them. If it's only two people then I know God wanted those two people to be apart of this. I do tend to share what is on my heart, but believe me when I say there is much thought and prayer that goes into this blog. I do not type randomly and if there is nothing to say then I don't want to waste your or my time.

So, I have started to pray for those bold people who comment or leave their mark in some way on my blog or facebook page. I do thank you and pray that my words would encourage others to consider what the Lord is calling them to do in His name.

Why I can sleep at night.

I love to sleep. It's peace. I enjoy this kind of peace. When I'm stressed and overly anxious then sleep becomes my enemy, always escaping me. And what is more stressful then knowing you have two children in a foreign country in less than optimal care waiting to come home to you to be fed and loved? I may not know them yet, but they are going to be our family. They don't know it yet, but they have a home with food and siblings and a mom and dad to tuck them in every night.

So how can I possibly sleep for the next 7 months waiting for them?

By simply asking myself, "Who am I?" What makes me so special at this moment in the grand scheme of time? I am just a speck. My life is of no significance. Think of all the millions of people throughout God's time line and then there is me in 2010. I'm not the first to adopt, nor the last. I am just one of God's building blocks that He uses to glorify His name. He called us to do this thing and it will be on God to see it through.

So this is how I sleep at night. Because those children, who are not with us yet, are in His hands. I am not their savior, only Christ can do that. Even if for some crazy reason God closed all the doors and we weren't allowed to adopt these children the world would not end. I do love these children and long for them to be in our home, but I long to lift up the name of Jesus and show His love more. I am not out to save the world from starvation, I only want to be faithful to what God lays on my heart. If we are blessed enough to receive these dear ones then great, but if not then I will follow Christ in what ever direction He leads us to serve Him. In the end it's always about Christ no matter what!

Moving Along

By Gods grace things are moving along. I found out today that our dossier is in order and has already been sent to the Rwandan Embassy in Washington D.C. I was very excited to hear this and to see things moving along.

Now here's my question:

If the process of adoption and bringing someone into our home to accept and nurture is all that God wants of us then why are there so many hurdles and why does it take so long?

If God was ultimately just concerned with orphans in Christian homes then the process would take 1 day? Right! But we spend months and years waiting for these children to come home. Then there are the speed bumps and road blocks that you experience along the way. Missing papers and inadequate information seem to be the norm and expected when adopting children. Thousands of dollars add up from processing fees to airplane tickets.

So why all the difficulty?

I believe that the Almighty God of the Universe is more glorified with our submissive, content, patient hearts then the actual service that we render. Please don't hear me wrong, adoption or any other work we do to serve others in Christ's name is honorable and worthy, but those things can become worthless if our hearts are not completely submissive to God. We try and take God's glory when we push our own agenda and then we end up serving ourselves, not God. Our adoption of two children from Africa is not going to be easy or quick (or cheap), but Jesse and I both want our Lord to work through us to glorify His Name. So I can wait another 7-9 months before our dear children come home to us because they are already (and have always been) in the Lord's hands and His timing is ALWAYS perfect. May God be glorified in your day today.

Love, Jessica

Enjoying our time before the storm!?

I've had some very well meaning people mention how I should enjoy this time before we receive our children from Rwanda. Last Thursday we Fed-Ex our dossier to our adoption agency and the ball is now out of our court. So now we just wait, could be six months before we hear anything (I'm being optimistic) or more likely seven to nine months before we even get a picture of who our kids are.

So, back to the enjoying my time. It didn't hit me right away why that concept rubbed me the wrong way so much. People are trying to be kind and I know it's their only way to offer comfort for such a lengthy process, but honestly, if I really just wanted to enjoy my free time I never would have wanted to adopt in the first place. I never would have wanted kids if free time was so important to me. Children are a gift from the Lord, but they are a sacrifice also. Your time is not your own and truthfully was it ever really yours.

I've noticed in my own sinful heart that the more free time I have to indulge my wants the more free time I want. Breaks are nice and restfulness is sweet, but if I have too much "me" time I become more selfish. When time is short it forces me to be more focused and do the things that matter. I don't want to sit around for the next 9 months and wear out my laptop from checking on emails. I just want to get started on this next chapter of our lives. But for now I want to stay diligent and serve God in whatever opportunity He brings our way. 9 months can pass quickly especially when your busy.

Joy over paper

It amazes me how I can be so joyful over a piece of paper. Today we received our USCIS (homeland security office) approval to bring two children into this country. They have reviewed our home study and application and have deemed us worthy of taking care of 2 orphans. That plain dull piece of paper has been the reason I have stalked the mailbox everyday for weeks.

I'm so excited my fingers are shaking as I type. Now we need to go to Carson City to have it notarized and certified before I can send it off to our adoption agency, America World. Once they receive and review all our paperwork they send it to the Rwandan Embassy in Washington D.C. for them to review it.

This is a big step and the signal that our end of the deal with compiling all the appropriate paper work is over. I could sing right now, but my kids think I'm crazy when I sing throughout the house, except for Isabelle she loves to sing off key also.

Praise God, this is the best birthday present.

Gifts from God

I have to confess that I feel rather pampered right now. I want this feeling to last for the next 4 months while we finish our schooling, but experience tells me this feeling of joy and relaxation will last until Monday at 9 ( for that is when we start up school again and when my patience will run low).

I love vacations and especially the ones where you don't do anything. I can handle a day of sitting in my pj's reading a book and telling the kids to find something to eat, but after one day like that I need to feel like I have accomplished something.

I have always struggled with truly enjoying vacations because a little of me has felt guilt over the privilege of the get away while millions of people are starving in the world. Part of me thinks the money and time could have been better spent than on my leisure. BUT, that is not what God says, "He makes me lie down in green pastures: He leads me beside quiet waters: He restores my soul." Psalms 23:2-3a

God has restored my soul. Vacations remind me of the great and infinite God I serve. All good things are from Him and ought to be praised. So I take this time to publicly praise God for such a time as this. But what kind of servant would I be if I praised the good without thanking the difficult, hard, tiresome times as well for they all bring us closer to the One we love, Jesus!

I know there are difficult times ahead, I'm a mother of three soon to be mother of five, two of which won't look anything like me or speak my language, at first. But love is a verb not a passing emotion. God loved me when I didn't deserve it and I will love these children from Rwanda because He gave them to me.

So this vacation is nice for now, but my joy is found in Christ and so I can feel rested in Him even in the darkest times of my failure when there is no sunny beach around. To God be the glory forever!

Doubt

One of the biggest hurdles of adopting or home-schooling, which happens to be my sphere right now, is doubt. It's ugly, mean and sinful. I hate it and it wants me to hate it because then I am engaged in a battle with it. It sucks all the energy and joy out of the blessing that God has given me.

Children are a blessing, but doubt steals the joy with thoughts of inadequacy. I battle with thinking that I am not a good enough mother or teacher. I know these may seem irrational to some, and they are, but Satan still is a really good deceiver. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!" Phil. 4:13.

Taking care of orphans is good and honorable to God, but doubt steals the joy with thoughts of incapability. Am I capable of taking care of my own children? I always fear that answer. Will I be sane enough to teach, train and love 5 children when it is so difficult some days to do 3. "When I am afraid, I put my trust in You. In God whose word I praise, in God I trust, I shall not be afraid, what can flesh do to me." Psalms 56:3-4

Training up my children at home is one way of being a good steward, but doubt leads me to expect too much of myself and my children. Can I teach my children to be diligent and loving when I am frustrated with then? Every morning I know there is a wonderful opportunity of great learning and maturity and yet the first little squabble sets me on edge toward failure. "The anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God." James 1:20

All I can say is that I serve a great and mighty God. Because if all of this was left on my shoulders I would have bailed long ago. He gives me hope, He teaches me patience, He loves me ...

Valentines's Day

I can't believe that 14 years ago today Jesse asked me out on our first date. He showed up to my work at UNR with flowers and some chocolates. I was so embarrassed. I always thought V-day was cheesy and made fun of other people who participated in it.

Thank you Jesse, who is my best friend, my confidant, my protector, my love! The next 14 years will be quite an exciting adventure together.

LOVE, Jessica

Home-schooling

While the word may strike fear into some, others are filled with a joy and hope for their children's future. I'm not quite sure where I'm at yet.
Truth #1: I know God placed this adventure on our hearts and my husband and I totally agree about it.
Truth #2: God does not make mistakes.
Truth #3: My children are learning despite my fears and inadequacy.
Truth #4: God does not make mistakes.
Truth #5: I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Truth #6: God does not make mistakes.
Truth #7: Through this process God is molding everyone in this house, you don't get to be selfish when surrounded by the same people all day long.
Truth #8: I make lots of mistakes, but God doesn't.
Truth #9: We are learning to rely on God's grace more and more and ourselves less and less.
TRUTH #10: Our children are little mirrors of the areas in our own life that need to be refined by God and they show us the sin of selfishness in our own hearts.

All this to say that I love home-schooling, but there are days I can actually feel my hair graying on the spot. Before I home-schooled I had a lot of time to think about myself and what I wanted and now God is teaching me to think of others and breaking my stubborn, strong-willed spirit.

May God be glorified in all things, even in my lame ramblings.

The Baggage Girl

Well, we changed our minds. After much prayer and consideration Jesse and I asked Melanie if she wanted to come with us to Rwanda. I know it was a silly question, but Jesse videoed her response and as soon as he teaches me how to edit it I'll post it. Actually, she will be the video girl, but that wasn't as catchy as baggage girl.

At first I didn't know if we should bring her because I didn't want Trent to feel left out. But after talking to him and getting a good sense that he doesn't care if he stays home with Izzy we then thought about finances. I feared we didn't have the funds to take her or if it was the right use of such funds if we did have it. I just kept thinking she's going to be so helpful and what a great experience for her.

She actually told us she thought she was going to get to go because she was saving up her money to pay her way! Sweet child. She wants to work to earn money to go to Rwanda and she's only 11. She's not looking for handouts, but wants to earn it, she amazes me. She wants to babysit, pull weeds in the summer, mow lawns, you name it she wants to do it. I admire her enthusiasm.

I take great courage in the life of George Muller, a 1800's God fearing man who ran an orphanage in England without ever once soliciting. He was a man who prayed and believed. He wanted God to receive all the credit for every good thing at the orphanage and so never asked for a handout, but prayed for every last penny. The children never went to bed hungry because God provided for His children everyday in every way. God was glorified in all of George Muller's life and I pray will be glorified in all that we do.

Baskets

2 months ago I signed up to be a basket consultant for The Rwandan Basket Company. This company and the founders are one of the reasons we wanted to adopt from Rwanda. Tracy and Greg Stone started a non-profit organization out of Seattle to help the people of Rwanda and especially the women and children. They lead Rwanda Partners, look them up they are pretty neat, and out of that began the basket company.
Their stories drove me to tears and left me wanting to do more. They have helped women learn the weaving arts that their grandmothers used to do and then give them a broader market for their product. I've bought baskets before from other companies, but never have I bought something so practical and helpful.
Every basket you buy comes with a card and picture of one of the weavers. They usually explain how they had no income to take care of their children and now by weaving they do. This is not a free hand out or charity case. These women work and want to work to feed their families. Most of the families have been devastated by the genocide that occurred 15 years ago.
In 1994 almost a million people were slaughtered in 100 days. No one helped them. It breaks my heart every time I watch a documentary or movie about what took place there. This country has gotten under my skin and now that I know what I know I can't turn away.
I love these baskets and I hope some of you out there may love them too. I will host parties at anyone house and would love to introduce as many people to Rwanda as I can. Anything I make from these baskets will go to helping us adopt our 2 children. This company is not interested in making anyone rich, but in feeding and caring for those in need. These women are already paid for their baskets, but the more the demand the more women have a chance to care for their families. Please call me or look for your self at www.rwandabaskets.com

My Bog Picture

I thought I would explain my blog picture. I took this a year and a half ago in the fall. I'm standing outside from my bedroom door looking at my back yard and the trees from my neighbors yard. And people say Nevada isn't pretty! I love Spring here because of the new flowers and baby ducks, Summer is very nice to because we cool ourselves off in the river in our backyard and eat on the patio a lot. Fall- well, this picture describes Fall, and then there is Winter which I don't like, at all. It's cold and I'm stuck inside all the time.

So, I love looking out my backyard and watching nature. Saw a gray Crane fly past yesterday and a huge hawk eye my chickens today. I would make a very lousy city girl, too many people and not enough nature.

Blogging!?

I didn't realize how difficult it would be to post things. Not actually pushing the button, but writing something down coherently and worth your while to read. I don't have much free time in a day as a homeschooling mom and I know many of you have even less time as working moms or fathers (or random people who happen upon this blog), so I want my words to matter and be clear. So it has taken me over a week to write out a post about how God changed my life and heart. I'm still not done, but at least I feel better now for not abandoning my page. Plus we're just waiting go get a letter in the mail from immigration telling us to get our fingerprints done again. It's one of the final steps before we get to send our paper work to Rwanda. So I am trying to ignore the mailbox and finish my testimony or God's dealings with me!

Rwanda?

I forget sometimes that not everyone knows that we are adopting. It is a very personal thing, but not private. We love to talk about our adoption with anyone who asks and sometimes I have to contain myself from blurting out that we are adopting from Rwanda to total strangers. I feel so many emotions when it comes to adoption because God has laid this on our hearts and brought us through the process to surrender our lives to Him. In no way do I ever want to make anyone feel judged or guilty for not adopting, but I hope to encourage everyone to think joyfully about adoption and that they can take part in some small way. If I seem overly excited about this journey it's because it is a constant reality of God's grace, mercy and love for us.
So why Rwanda? Well, we prayed a lot and then we prayed some more and the programs that were least consuming for time and finances were Rwanda and Ethiopia. I first started looking at anything I could find on the internet about Rwanda, like where in the world was it. I came across an organization that helps in Rwanda called Rwanda Partners and they started a company for the local women to sell baskets in the US. I feel in love with the baskets and their stories. Jesse and I watched everything we could get our hands on concerning the country and cried-a lot. It's a tinny country with much beauty and deep sorrow. Rwanda has one of the highest %s of orphans per-capita than any where else in the world. 50% of the 10 million people living there are under the age 14. I wanted to do something there and be apart of that country as it was taking me in. So I signed up to be a consultant for the baskets because I wanted to do something for the women who are there now. Our adopted children will have something that we have integrated into our lives from their homeland. The Rwanda Basket Company is a beautiful thing that I love. I do have so much more to say, but don't want to talk you ears off so please get to know this country yourselves and see if you can stay away.

Introductions

I would like to introduce our family for those of you who may not know us very well because we are another example of God's grace and mercy.

Isabelle-5 years old-think: noisy bell-loves baby dolls-reminds me of me-loves to do what ever sister and brother are doing-inquisitive- sings when she's happy, sad, bored or trying to get your attention.

Trent-8 years old-loves anything on wheels-does not have fond affections for school-is a good cuddler- HATES roller-coasters, but will do tricks on his bike that curl my hair-has inherited a desire to collect pocket knives-really wants a little brother to teach all his cool boy stuff to.

Melanie-11(on the 17th of Jan.)-Loves: horses, reading, babies, friends, camping, making cards, drawing; basically if it's an activity she wants to do it (and do it well)-plays the piano very nicely- loves learning about Jesus- she can't wait to grow up and take on the world.

Jesse-35-deputy sheriff-is a wonderful father and husband-loves to make homemade beer- loves to go camping and fishing- is gracious to eat my cooking with a smile-not picky about much-easy going-friendly-funny-handsome-creative with trying new ways to organize our family life-dedicated in following Christ and seeking Him.

Me-36-homeschool mom who is just trying to figure out a good plan -loves to go running-loves to bake or cook new recipes while sipping a good glass of wine and listening to Italian music- likes to stay home (occupationally and daily)-gets great satisfaction while pulling weeds out of my garden (spiritually and literally)-loves to spend time with my husband-LOVES babies (If you have one and I'm anywhere near I will knock over anyone else to get a chance to hold that baby)-asks God daily (hourly) to give me wisdom on how to train-up my children to know and love the Lord while battling my selfishness-stays busy around the house and yard to keep from being idle which for me leads to self pity.

We are just a family of 5 ready to grow as God leads us.

Why?

I have often thought "Why would I start a blog?" I don't have much to say that's new and I am not a good speller. Well, the second issue is solved for me with spell check. But as to having anything new to say that is true. I am an ordinary girl living an extraordinary life through my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I may not have anything to add to the blog world, but God is using my husband and I in new and amazing ways. I wish and pray that I can encourage others to live for Christ and as we go through the process of adopting two children from Rwanda I hope to encourage anyone thinking about adopting. I have followed many bloggers for several months now and am taking in things that I like about the various blogs and hope to incorporate in mine. Someday I hope to have the time to explain who I am because that has helped me get to know many other women and be encouraged by them. But for now my 5 year old is singing about Jesus at the top of her lungs in the tub because no one is paying her any attention right now! Hopefully soon she won't be the youngest anymore.